Grief Is A Strange Thing
by NutsieDreamer
Summary: Robert Callighan, in a sense, always was what he was. A murderer. A villain. But at the same time he was just a man. A sad man, a lonely man. A broken man. He didn't know. He couldn't comphrend the depths he was sinking to. Slight swear words. Movie, Post-movie.


**Callighan, in a sense, always was what he was. A murderer. A villain. But at the same time he was just a man. A sad man, a lonely man. A broken man. He didn't know. He couldn't comphrend the depths he was sinking to.**

_**Hello all you wonderful people out there! I am new, but not new to the site. I just haven't updated anything, though I love reading other peoples stories. You are all so incredible, hopefully I can be too! Especially this one writer Becky Blue Eyes. All her stories of BH6 make me cry. If you are reading this I'm sorry for not reviewing yet but I wasn't logged in then. I'll go back and review don't worry. I just need more tissues. You really made me cry.**_

**_But as if she'd read this. Anyway I've been pursuing the BH6 fanfics... And No Callighan ones? My my. Oh well. I'll make one, as disastrous as it is. Hopefully you enjoy despite the schizophrenic type of writing._**

**_My take on Callighan and his insanity._**

**Grief Is A Strange Thing.**

**It twists even the best of us.**

Tadashi Hamada was a mistake. An unfortunate accident.

That fire wasn't supposed to hurt anyone. That fire wasn't supposed to kill anyone. Everyone was milling about near the exit, the show over. He set the fire up with plenty of time to have everyone out before it exploded. Except him of course. But that was planned. That was what he wanted. A cover. So Krei wouldn't know what hit him until it did.

He didn't even know Tadashi had been in the building when the fire finally reached its climax until days later. The fire was roaring, searing in his eardrums before he managed to find and cover himself with Hiro's microbots. A cry in that cacophony of noise and choas would be unheard by men even a few feet away. It was no wonder Callighan didn't know. Callighan swore he would not have taken Tadashi's life if he had known. He wouldn't be like Krei, taking an innnocent child from their prime- deprive people of their loved ones. He was better than Krei. He was better than Krei he kept telling himself, over and over and over again.

He grieved over Tadashi's death, though it would be doubtful for people to believe that now. Tadashi was so much like Abigail, he thought. Bright, smart, full of life. Tadashi had a future, just like Abigail had. Callighan had grown fond of Tadashi in his time there. He became Callighan most treasured student, the one person that made the ache a little less painful. But now, now that little speck of light was gone as well. Gone with Abigail.

_And it was his fault?_

Callighan would not believe in that. He spirled in and out, his delirium of grief for two people he had cared for, throwing coping, soothing thoughts into his mind. His death was sacrificial to Abigail. A tribute to her memory. His death was her salvation, yes. _Yes it was_. It was needed in order for revenge. It couldn't be helped. Tadashi had to die so ultimately he could take revenge for his daughter. It was needed, it was necessary.

Thats what he kept telling himself, even as the trusting face of the young man looked him in the mirror each morning. As he kept haunting his waking moments, a ghost of regret and disappointment. Callighan would always try to look away, unable to face Tadashi. Unable to face himself.

"YOUR DEATH WAS NECESSARY TADASHI HAMADA!" A crack splinters the glass, Tadashi's reflection, his reflection. Blood beads and trickles down his arm, "You understand why. You accept it, you know I had to do this. Abigail was my life. Is my life. You understand, don't you Hamada? You accept that it had to happen, even to you. To my most prized student. For you are a brother, for I am a father." _For I am a broken man._

Callighan had been broken for as long as he knew. First it was his wife, his love, his shimmering sun. She died from an unfortunate illness, an illness that was degenerative, that took her youth and mocked it. She died in a body that had ultimately betrayed her.

However Callighan still had his precious girl, his darling little angel. Abigail became his everything, his reason for life and his entire world. The entire universe revolved around her, and Callighan would gladly create the science to prove it. She was his everything.

And then she was taken too. And with her, she took everything Callighan had. Every hope. Every dream. Anything and everything went down with that bastards Silent Sparrow project. Everything. Krei had to pay. Krei had to pay.

_But was Tadashi's life worth that?_

Of course it was. Of course it was. Tadashi was meant to die for Abigail, of course. Or else it wouldn't have happened. Or else he would have seen and saved Tadashi. A forceful blow to the head that would knock him out - erasing his short term memory and of Tadashi ever knowing of being there. Tadashi wouldn't remember anything 15 minutes before or after when he hit him.

But that was simply not meant to be, as Tadashi was not discovered and Tadashi was dead _because of him_- _**no no no no no.**_ Because of Krei. Krei was the one who started this with his daughter. He was the one who forced him into this position.

If Tadashi's death was on anyone's hands, of course it was Krei's. That made killing him all the more simple. All the more easier. He had two people to avenge now. Two people who mattered and had their life ripped away.

But then came Hiro, and with that would come trouble.

Callighan couldn't have Hiro ruining it all, ruining his vengeance for Abigail. For her death. Not when he had gone so far, not when he had suffered so greatly.

One more sacrifice for Abigail Callighan concluded. One more death for her. It was alright. Hiro would understand. Besides, Hiro would not have to live like he did, grieving and brooding and cold and empty. He would send Hiro to his brother. He was doing a service. A _great service_ he told himself.

A service for Abigail. She wouldn't have wanted those two brothers seperated like that, if she knew them. They were great siblings. Tadashi always had glowing remarks of his brother. Hiro was special, Hiro was smart. Abigail would want them together.

Callighan could never refuse Abigail anything.

Then of course came the friends. Callighan was upset that more had come, more had seen, and more were in they way. couldn't they have just kept to themselves? Oh well, more sacrifices for Abigail. It's what she deserves. She was special, she was everything. Killing for her would be nothing. For in Callighans mind, after he had gotten over his hand in Tadashi's death- not seeing his reflection in the mirror as much, especially with the mask. The mask hid everything it helped a lot- other people and the line between life, death and right or wrong was blurred, twisted and muddled.

But it was for Abigail. He wasn't like Krei. Killing innocent people. They all had a hand in her death. They all didn't stop Krei from his death portal. Those kids saw the video. They saw the footage. They should understand his purpose and be glad they were apart of it. Glad they were a sacrifice to her memory.

It was for Abigail. He wasn't Krei. It was for Abigail.

He was justified. They would all understand. Abigail was all he ever had. She was his everything and it hurt every day to live without her. Everyone had to understand his pain, and he would show them. He would remind them.

It was for Abigail.

But then Hiro discovered him, discovered who he was. Hiro was torn, Hiro was angry. Hiro told him Tadashi had went in there to save him. Had went in there to help him.

The harsh words he retorted to the younger Hamada were out as defense, as a way to cope. He couldn't see Tadashi's accusing face in the mirror anymore. He couldn't see the child he had ruined with flames and revenge. But what he told Hiro- it was true! Tadashi should have never gone in there. It was not his fault. Tadashi's death was not him. It was Krei. It was what Krei started and it was for Abigail. Couldn't Hiro see that? _Couldn't the reflection in the mirror see that?! _

However the younger Hamada was blind in his grief and could not see what Callighan could. Callighan barely made it out alive, barely made it out to take revenge for his daughter. To find Krei, to destroy him and all that he had. To take everything from that sickening bastard.

For he was alive and she was not and that was what made everything not okay.

But Callighan made it out and he found Krei. He had Krei and he was destroying Krei's life and it was just so deliciously right and perfect for Abigail. She would approve, wouldn't she? Tadashi would accept. He could even feel his wife, smiling down from heaven. What he was doing was right. Krei deserved this for destroying his life. His reason for living.

For Abigail.

But Hiro. Hiro was back, Hiro was in the way. It wasn't fair it wasn't fair! Why couldn't he get what he wanted? Why couldn't he get what Abigail deserved? She was dead, she was gone forever and Callighan could not leave with nothing but sorrow once again. He had too much pain, too much sorrow to have nothing now. To recieve nothing for her death. It was all unfair, unfair.

And then, suddenly, she wasn't dead. She was okay. She was fine, she was here. With him. On this earth, in this world. She was alive.

It was the best moment of Callighans life. He couldn't remember a time he had ever been happier. She was alive, she was well and- and- then she was gone again. Leaving in a white and yellow and blue ambulance, alone; without him. Because he was doomed. He was done-for.

He was in jail. He was sentenced to death without even a thought or much of a trial to help him. He had tried destroying San Fransokyo.

And he had murdered Tadashi Hamada. He had cost tons of damage, many people their jobs. Krei Tech was completely abolished, and Krei was front line in court, demanding compensation before Callighan would face his 'justice', face his death. Krei wanted the institute. He wanted the lab. He wanted to help the young inventors who had saved his life by providing for them more tech, everything and anything. He wanted another robot like the one that had saved him. He wanted to lead a new sciencific revoluton.

Callighan didn't care about anything anymore. He was listless, he was empty now. Torment in the form of two people screamed at him, berated him. Detested him.

Right after the attack Callighan was immediately placed in jail; Before the farse of a court hearing in two weeks, then his execution. Death Row.

The first torment was in the form of Tadashi Hamada. The boys death swirled in front of him, the sacrifice he convinced himself Hamada had been, mocking him. He still screamed it out loud, whenever the boys face would appear before him, saying nothing. Doing nothing. Just staring. Accusingly, silently.

"You had to die, Hamada, don't you see? Don't you understand? Your death brought her back to me! you had to die, so she could live. You had to. It was inevitable." Everyday, the same thing. Tadashi would pop in his mind, saying nothing but everything at the same time, with his wide, honest eyes. Callighan would howl out, sometimes apologies, most times excuses. Most times the lies he wanted to convince himself with. He laughed sometimes, his delirium bringing him perverse joy at taking a life. He wondered how it would have felt to have truly killed someone- the adrenalin rush, the surge of energy at the position of power he had been in poised before those children. At the edge of life and death, godlike control in the palm of his hand. But then Tadashi would show up again and the cycle would continue.

Until the second torment came, and the form it took was his daughter.

Immediately Callighan straightens, brighting at the sight of her. Alive, well, alive well. Fine and just as wonderful as he remembered her. Just as similar to his wife. He smiles for her, but she does not return it. Her gaze is shifty, her expression pained. Her eyes are red rimmed, slightly puffy. She shifts awkwardly over and over again.

"How could you? " Her first words to him in many years are taunt and harsh and tight and furious. Her lips tremble and her voice shakes. Her body tilts in on itself, quaking and pale. Her eyes are bright with fury, with pain and sorrow, "How could you kill that man? How could you try to hurt thousands of people!?"

"It was for you. It was always for you. My dear Abby you must understand, it was all for you." Callighan stands up and walks over to the bars separating them. He stretches out to touch her, to feel his baby girl and have her in his arms again. But she shrinks back, away from him, repulsed and disgusted.

Tears gather in her eyes, streaming down her cheeks. The hole in his heart that had been there so long aches, seeing his daughter so defeated, so broken.

"Father, how could you?" Her voice is small and hitched, her breathing fast and her chest heaving, "I never would have wanted this. I never would ask you to try and murder someone. Never. I knew what I signed up for. I knew the risks and so did you. There was nobody to blame."

"Krei was to blame and he is at fault for your years of isolation and my years of suffering! He deserved it Abby! He deserved the hand of justice for what he did!"

Abigail shakes her sadly, yet more tears dripping down her cheeks, "No! No!" She sobs out, hugging herself. She shakes and shakes before finally gathering herself, wiping her face, straightening her spine.

Abigail Callighan looks at her father, the person whom she had admired all her life. And she sees deep down in those dark eyes, sees the instability there. She sees the malice, the vengeance, the hatred. And it disgusts her. How her gentle father could twist himself so deeply,so darkly like this, Abigail did not know.

"You are a monster _daddy_." She spits out the words, and each syllable tears at her heart; rips at her mind. Her father reals away from her. He breaks down too, begging for her forgiviness. Apologies for Tadashi are mixed in, as the delirium she knew he was sliding into takes a hold of him.

She knew it was cruel to say such things to her father before he was to die. But that man, crying and pleading and laughing in that cell was not her father. The man that was her father had lived a long time ago. He was never coming back, and it was her fault. It was all her fault, though no one blamed her. Everyone knew what had happened at Krei tech. What had happened to her. Krei had made sure of that, for sending her off to such a cold, empty space for years on end. To make up for her lost years. Her lost father.

It wouldn't be enough. But what would be? Her father was a murderer, insane from twisted grief and sentenced to die. She had nothing now.

_"You are a monster daddy._" Her voice mocks and echoes in his mind, her face twisting between the adult now and the little girl he had raised. Each time, her eyes were full of disgust and contempt. He had failed her. The knowledge of his little girl hating him was worse than when she had died. Now. Now he knew he would never get her back. She was lost to him permanently and there were no happy memories he could look back on. All that he could think of was her contempt and hatred.

His life is worthless and Callighan knew it. He didn't bother with anything afterwards and merely looked forward to death. The court meeting was listless, his cell was unbearable. All he wanted was his daughters understanding and her love, but he would never get that now.

"You are a monster." Callighan whispers to himself, before he laughs, "I am a monster!" He laughs again but then suddenly breaks down. Again, like clockwork, Tadashi apears in his mind. Abigail, his little girl Abigail appears too. Looking at him silently like Tadashi. Accusingly like Tadashi. Disgusted, saddened and pained. She was his everything and she was rejecting him. His life was rejecting him for living. For breathing and thinking and knowing and feeling.

"I did it for you Abigail." Callighan calls out, once again. His rounds of pity and mindless game of cat and mouse begin again, as he begs forgiveness, doles out apologies and excuses.

But when the door clangs to take him away, to take him to his death Callighan can't help but laugh hysterically over the clariry that suddenly fills his mind.

Who was he kidding? Begging for forgiveness, wanting Abigail to understand he did this all for her. Because it all was a lie. A lie from the very start.

He did this all for himself.

_**well, how did you all like it? Weird yes I know. And it sucks... I know. I'm terrible at writing but I'll only improve, right? And I know I'm kind of romanticizing Robert Callighan a little, making him actually seem like he wouldn't have killed little kids in the beginning- but I think that's what it is. He was originally a good guy but spiralled- quite nastily into this. Lunatic. A self-centered lunatic. Haha... Sorry guys.**_

_**Thank you for reading! Review please?**_

_**NutsieDreamer.**_


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